So it’s been a hot second since everyone heard from me, but it looks like this blog wasn’t quite ready to die! This summer I’ve decide to tackle something a little bit more challenging, but before I go into details on what life has in store for me this July and August, let me first explain why on God’s green earth I’m so incredibly obsessed with traveling.
Without getting into some woe-is-me sappy story about where I was in my life a year ago, let’s just say it wasn’t good. That’s not to say that the people around me weren’t amazing or that the opportunities I had weren’t incredible, it’s just that I got myself into a hole and threw myself a day long pity party every day. The best way I could describe myself? I was a fun sponge. I wasn’t happy with myself, and that made it hard to be happy with anyone else, which I can imagine made it hard for anyone else to be happy with me! I’ll be the first to admit that I was my own worst enemy. I was minutes away from transferring, moments away from actually dropping out and moving home, and constantly seconds away from a mental meltdown. Seriously, I cried at 3 different bus stops last year. I rarely even take the bus! The point is: a year ago, I was not the person I wanted to be, but I didn’t really know how to change that.
This isn’t the story of some epiphany I had and suddenly I became a different person. I’m not going to say that wandering the streets of Rome, completely alone and sweating like a pig, made me realize that I don’t need other people or that climbing a literal mountain with my best friend made me realize that I want to be surrounded by other people. I won’t tell you that figuring out the Rio de Janeiro public transportation system all by myself made me more confident or that asking random strangers for directions (while butchering whatever language I was trying to speak) forced me out of my comfort zone. All of those things are true, but I can’t say that any one particular thing changed me.
All I can say is that when I came back, I felt fun- and not because I had all these cool stories of foreign places to tell people. I finally felt like who I am, as a person, was fun. This fall reminded me that, while the long hours at work were worth it, I could calm down a little bit. I needed to calm down. I still work 30+ hours a week, but after a 9 hour shift, when my feet hurt and I smell like 6 different kinds of perfumes (Sephora problems), I force myself to go do something. I came back and reconnected with friends. I went out. I actually talked to people and laughed and let myself finally have fun.
So who knows what exactly made me change, but my one person pity parties were finally reduced to a normal frequency and instead of wallowing, I have a glass (or two, or three) of wine with some friends. At the risk of being too personal and mushy on this blog, I’m just happy to finally say that I’m happy with myself. All of my imperfections and all of the things that used to drive me insane- they don’t really bother me anymore. Travel was the best medicine I have ever given myself.
So now hopefully you understand why I feel this incredible desire to do it all again. I miss the challenge and the excitement of a foreign place. I miss being forced to do things that I would never dream of doing. I miss everything about waking up in new places every morning and having absolutely no idea what the day was going to have in store for me.
So this July, I’ll be heading to Guatemala for 5 weeks to study Spanish at an immersion school. From there, I’ll spend 2 short weeks in Nicaragua and (hopefully) pop on over to visit my dad, and then head on home. The trip, in comparison, is short but much needed for me and my sanity. For everyone who is currently dialing my mom’s phone number to tell her just how dangerous a third world country is for a little blonde girl alone, GUESS WHAT?! I won’t be alone!! I’m lucky enough to have the most incredible friends and one of the best (you may remember her from my Morocco blog post) is coming along with me for the ride! So Evelyn and I will be your fluent-Spanish-speaking, surfing, Volcano boarding, chicken-bus riding Chicago natives taking on Central America.
Before any of you say “Wow, it must be nice to be able to afford all this…”, first off: I hate when people say that. Anyone can do this, people are just too scared to. Very rarely do I hear actual, valid excuses as to why someone “can’t” travel. Second, it literally costs $30 a day to travel in most of the cities we’ll be visiting. Add that up and then compare it to what you pay to live where you live now. I live in Chicago, so traveling is actually significantly cheaper. Obviously, I’m still pretty broke so things like the visit to my dad are in the air. The Paypal link will be posted here if anyone wants to help out financially (much, much appreciated) or if you want any souvenirs! Also, the one thing that I desperately, desperately want to bring with me on this trip is a GoPro, so if anyone has one that they would be willing to loan to me (I’ll even pay a little to rent or something!) please, please, please let me know. My biggest regret from last summer/fall is that I don’t have enough pictures and I don’t want that to happen again.
July 5th until mid-August, be prepared to see this blog back in action! There won’t be any horror stories (like Berlin), but I’m sure there will be lots of entertainment.
This time, you can feel free to email me at my normal email address (andi.kille@yahoo.com) since I will actually have internet this time!
Wish me luck!
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