Ohhhh, León. You tested me.
First, our shuttle from SJDS forgot about us, so we were running just under 2 hours late. Then, speeding down the highway, we hear something thunk on the roof, and I turn around to see my bag tumbling off of the car. Thankfully, everything remained intact and the driver stopped to pick it back up. I’ve learned long ago to keep valuables with me, so nothing was broken. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the next victim, whose bag flew off an hour later and split open, spewing her contents across the highway. The driver thought this was pretty funny but she certainly didn’t. Also the couple sitting in front of me would not stop making out. Like why?? Just why??
We finally got to our hostel, Bigfoot, and all seemed okay. Our room was small, & our bathroom was the size of a porta potty, but hey, for $11/person with A/C, it was pretty much what I expected. The WiFi never worked, which was a bit frustrating but I figured it was just a glitch.
Later that evening, Alison found some WiFi in a common area and called her boyfriend while Bryce and I had a 40 minute ordeal that neither of us can ever forget.
Sitting on my bed, I looked up to see a GIANT COCKROACH crawling up the wall. Panicked, I screamed at Bryce to kill it because I am a baby and also I do not fare well under pressure when killing bugs. Obviously, his shoe was triple knotted to his bag, so as he frantically tries to untie it, my panicked screams are getting louder and he is, understandably, quite irritated with me. Finally, he gets his shoe loose, runs towards the wall, cocks his arm, and swings.
The cockroach scampered away, unharmed, as we both start yelling. It disappears under the bed and we fall silent, standing in shock.
Realizing that there is no way either of us will sleep knowing that a giant cockroach is roaming around our room, we spend 20 minutes looking for the beast. We push both beds to the middle of the room, stacking all belongings on top of them. At one point, I jumped on the beds to try to shake it off just in case it had crawled onto the bottom. Bryce & I pondered ways to lure it out, to no avail, until he finally spotted it hiding in the corner—right where we couldn’t get a clear shot.
I sincerely wish I were exaggerating when I said that we proceeded to spend at least 20 minutes intently staring at this thing, joking (but serious) about sleeping in shifts throughout the night. That was probably the hardest I have laughed on this trip.
Eventually, it started to make a move. It was my shift, so I alerted Bryce that the subject was on the move, he rose up his hiking boot, slammed it down, missed slightly and instead only flipped the cockroach over. In one more sweeping motion, he annihilated it, letting out a super manly yell, while I jumped up and down in joy. High fiving each other, I ran to find soapy water to clean up the evidence. We had heard that they lay eggs inside their body, so we cleaned everything up a million times and threw away the body in a trash outside, then took our trash out as a precaution.
Nothing bonds siblings more than an hour long adventure of trying to kill something that survives nuclear wars.
I wish I could say I slept well that night, knowing we had slain the enemy, but I didn’t. We had accidentally turned the A/C to 18 degrees Celsius so I woke up several times shivering before realizing that I could turn it up. (duh.) Then some asshole decided to spend 20 minutes breaking ice in the kitchen outside our room at 5:30am. *Eye roll*
We arrived for our volcano boarding promptly at 8:20am, which was 10 min early. Unfortunately for us, we failed to consider Nica time and, wouldn’t you know it, we left at 9:36am.
30 of us piled into the back of basically a GIANT pick up truck and we were off on an hour long drive through the bumpy roads of León and eventually onto the bumpier dirt roads surrounding Cerro Negro. At the base, we saw protected iguanas. Apparently, they’re popular prey for local hunters since it’s considered an aphrodisiac, and Nicaraguans sometimes spend 6,000 Córdobas ($200 USD) on one, which is how much the average Nicaraguan makes in a month. Wow & wow.
Moving on from the Iguanas and the two Boa Constrictors banging, we finally drove the rest of the way to the base of the mountain. Alison and I splurged and paid $5 to have our boards carried to the top. My calves were still recovering from Concepción so I have no shame in this. We made the hike in a record 45 minutes. Sweating, huffing, and puffing, we took in the views from atop the youngest, most active volcano in Nicaragua. You could see where the magma had flowed in the most recent eruption, and from the peak you could also see two other volcanos, which were both quite a bit higher (around the height of Concepción.)
After taking some pictures, fighting off the biggest bugs I’ve ever seen, and soaking in the view, we donned our bright orange jumpsuits and prepared to board down the side of this massive black volcano. I had volcano boarding on my bucket list for years, so I was frankly quite shocked at how petrified I was when I found myself standing on the edge. Bryce went first, and he had a rough start, almost tipping over after gaining speed. Alison went next, shooting down the side and out of view. I had a strong start, leaning back and keeping my feet off the ground to avoid braking when suddenly I started to feel the board pull to my left. In an attempt to correct, I braked on one side, over corrected, and nearly tumbled the rest of the way down before returning straight just in time. When I looked up, I realized that I had just passed the guy taking photos, right when I had almost fallen off. I’m sure that picture is just great. Sigh.
At the bottom, I braked a bit early, just in time to pass the speedometer, and clocked in at only 40ish kilometers per hour. My guess is that I probably peaked around 60, with the fastest on record being close to 90 kilometers per hour.
Afterwards, we boarded the bus, drank an ice cold beer, and sang along to Backstreet Boys as we drove home. Another bucket list item checked off
When we got back to Bigfoot, Alison and I headed to the beach hostel and played drinking games, ate French fries, and enjoyed the sunset while Bryce stayed back to enjoy his much needed alone time and pack.
I hugged Bryce goodbye that night, trying to tell myself that his 2 hour taxi would go smoothly and he’d be fine without me. For someone who doesn’t want kids, I sure sound like a mom pretty often.
Later that night, Alison and I went to shower off all the volcanic rock that had become imbedded into our hair and skin. As Alison was showering, I heard a thunk and an “OH MY GOD.” The shower head had fallen off, hitting her on the head. HAHAHAH WHAT.
So for the rest of the night, water flowed out steadily from the broken spout. If I weren’t such a heavy sleeper, I would’ve gone insane. Bless my B12 deficiency.
In the morning, after waiting an hour for a fruit plate and eventually giving up on our smoothie and coffee, we visited the cathedral, which had a beautiful white roof. Though it was blazing hot, the roof was absolutely stunning, and the blue sky in the background was the perfect backdrop. We had gone once prior, with Bryce, but wanted to go again earlier to see it without so many long shadows. In half of the pictures, you can see me doing what I do best on this trip: studying my new bruises and mosquito bites.
After finally getting WiFi at a coffee shop near Bigfoot so that I could pay my remaining tab at our last hotel, I updated my phone so that it (hopefully) stops crashing every time I open an app. Fingers crossed.
Then we happily checked out of Bigfoot, leaving the cockroaches, broken WiFi, ratchety shower, and unhelpful staff behind for good. I’m glad Alison & Bryce got the hostel experience but I’m more glad that we don’t need to do it again.
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